Hey Internet!

I hope your day is this amazing:

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Complete My Life

In 15 days, I will be 30. I’ve got a job I love and a man I love and a dog I refuse to stop gushing over and really good friends. The only thing missing is this:

I especially love that it’s for one. As a lady who makes puns like that often, you can trust me that if jokes like that are coming out, you are probably drinking for one. This bit of awesomeness is available at LennyMud’s Etsy store.

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What Do These Two Things Have in Common?

I absolutely can’t stop watching either. Also, I’m pretty sure the guy in the first one is a superhuman.

 

 

I also love that Chuck Testa will thank you for the 4.2 million internet hits his commercial has received, but won’t put down his drink to do so. Even Chuck Testa has his limits.

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This Is What Happens When Hunting For a Sublet

This was a response we received from not one, but two separate ads posted for Brooklyn apartments. Reprinted in all of its original glory:

Nice hearing from you, My name is   Brian O. Adams  the owner of the apartment you are making enquiry of, Actually I resided in the apartment with my wife, such as my  Husband ..We are both on a Christian Mission (Crusade) to U.K and we have decided to rent out our apartment for charity purpose, My  Husband  and I has now decided to give it out, so for now the apartment is available for rent. below is the address

522 Lefferts Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11225, USA

Its a spacious and lovely 1   bedroom 1 bathroom, Kitchen and laundry Utilities are included and Pets are allowed… Kitchen completely equipped, Kettle – Toaster – Dishwasher – Freezer -Microwave – Oven -Dryer – Heat – Water – Washing Machine, parking available, Laundry available ,Please I want you to note that I am a kind and honest man and also I spent a lot on my property that I want to give you for rent, so I will solicit for your absolute maintenance of the apartment and I would want you to treat it as your own, I would like you to keep it tidy all the time I also want you to let me have trust in you as I always stand on my word.

The rental fees is $500 per month including utilities for the whole of the apartment I can rent the apartment to you either long term or short term. you can go and view the exterior and the area if you like it we will proceed further to ship the keys and documents of the apartment to you. I’m pretty sure you’d like the exterior and incase you wish to proceed further I can forward you the full interior pictures for you to have an idea how beautiful and spacious the inside looks and we can proceed to the application process
I await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys of the apartment to you, please we are giving you all this base on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words, you know that we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand ,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this and let me know if you are interested so i can email you the Application form Today

NB: Please do not call if you have not received the rental application form and statement of rental policy. you can request for the free rental application form by replying to this email

God Bless
Rev Brian O Adams

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$5 Well Spent

My friend Shaun had this made for me:

This is one of the coolest gifts I’ve ever received.

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Dream Weaver*

Last night I dreamt that I was in my early 60’s and looked a lot like Diane Lane…which is pretty awesome because I’m pretty sure that Diane Lane has a pair of time-fighting sais or something because regardless of how many years pass, she’s still a stone cold fox. Anyway, I was being all Diane Laney and sitting at a typewriter, imparting all of my life lessons on my future kids. I was being very prophetic and talking about fear and love and the importance of courage when my brain camera panned over and I realized that my children were really just 3 vacuums of different sizes. Also they were giggling. That’s adorable.

* This title is lame.

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The Biggest Thing I’ve Learned So Far

In October of 2009, Jason moved into my sweet apartment in Chicago. Three months later we moved to Australia. And we haven’t stopped traveling since. At the end this month, we will have been traveling for 20 months straight, though 5 of them were spent in Chicago where we formerly lived. It has been amazing. Specifically this amazing:

That’s footage from a pyrotechnic training workshop Jason and I took at a ranch just outside of Austin. We gave each other the class as Christmas gifts and literally spent an entire day in the middle of Texas hill country just blowing stuff up. It was beyond awesome and the only reason that we could do it was because we were in Austin long enough to burn through all of the touristy stuff and start picking up on lesser-known activities.

It’s all been amazing, but not necessarily the good kind of amazing. We’ve had housing fall through at the last minute, leaving us homeless and freaked out about what to do. We’ve arrived in places where the walls had human hair inside them (I will never get over that one). This past week we had to cancel a trip to Chile, Argentina and Peru 3 days before we were supposed to leave, in part for family reasons and in part because I started getting anxiety attacks about traveling so far so fast after just having moved to 3 cities in 2 months. We lost about $800, but I believe without a doubt that it was the right thing to do. Sidenote: If you’re going to have an anxiety attack, Dick’s Sporting Goods is legitimately an awesome place to do it because you can simply go to the camping section, crawl in a tent and freak out with as much privacy and dignity as it’s possible to have while going mental in a retail environment.

The exhaustion of constantly moving and packing and evaluating what you have car space to buy and negotiating with new landlords and praying that the next apartment you get to will be half as nice as the photos make it seem and forgetting your new address time and time again and having no idea where to take the dog when she’s sick and building a community and starting to feel at home and then leaving it and starting all of that over again can be overpowering. It catches up to me at unexpected times. This month has been one of those times when my body furrowed its brow at me and basically said “Really Couch? Really?????”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from permanently traveling, it’s that the success or failure of a project like this is determined by one’s ability to amend the rules when necessary. To change course when need be is crucial, even if that means stopping or re-evaluating why you’re doing what you’re doing or looking your partner in the eye and telling them “I love you more than I will ever explain, but you cannot be my entire social outlet.”

So we’re doing just that right now instead of tangoing across South America in heels that make me look normal height. And the weird thing is that for all the re-configuring and rewriting of rules that’s going on, it feels good. Better even than stumbling to destination after destination at a breakneck pace.

I think that one of the major benefits of traveling is that putting yourself in a foreign place forces you to take a hard look at yourself and think about what you really need when all of the creature comforts of home are removed. In a weird way, taking a break from travel can do the same thing.

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